As a parent, I’m always looking for ways to get my kids giggling. Silly jokes and puns have a magical ability to turn any frown upside down, no matter the day or season.

And when it comes to joke telling, kids tend to have tough crowds, so you’ve got to bring your A-game!

Luckily, I’ve tapped into a comedy gold mine that never fails to get my little ones cackling – Halloween humor!

Yes, you heard that right. Halloween jokes are hilarious enough to tell all year long.

With 180 howlingly funny Halloween-themed jokes and puns, this comprehensive list keeps the laughs flowing for family fun time.

From ghostly punchlines to mummy quips sure to unwrap smiles, these clean yet creepy kids jokes and riddles delight my youngsters no matter the date on the calendar.

So gather the kids and get ready for some foolishly frightful fun that’s funny 365 days a year!

Telling spooky jokes is now a year-round treat, not just a Halloween feat.

Once you have these jolting jokes in your repertoire, there’s no tombstone unturned in raising smiles from your audience dead and alive!

Key Takeaways

  • The article provides a diverse range of Halloween-themed jokes suitable for all ages, ensuring a fun and inclusive experience for family and friends.
  • Each section of the article offers a unique theme, from timeless titters to creepy crawly comedy, covering all the classic Halloween figures and symbols.
  • The jokes are designed to be easy to remember and share, perfect for trick-or-treating, classroom parties, or as icebreakers at a Halloween gathering.
  • The humor is crafted to be light-hearted and playful, making it a safe and delightful read for children and adults alike.
  • Despite the temporary maintenance on niamtian.info, the joy and laughter from these Halloween jokes remain accessible and ready to spread spooky cheer.

Halloween Jokes

halloween pumpkin with lights

These jokes have stood the test of time, much like the mummies they might feature.

Here’s a selection to get your little goblins cackling under the moonlight:

  • Why didn’t the skeleton go to the party? He had nobody to dance with!
  • What do you call a witch’s garage? A broom closet.
  • How do ghosts like their coffee? Dark as the grave and as sweet as stolen treasure.
  • Why don’t mummies take time off? They’re afraid to unwind!
  • What do ghosts serve for dessert? I scream!
  • What do you call a fat pumpkin? A plumpkin!
  • Why do vampires seem sick? They’re always coffin!
  • How can you tell a vampire has a cold? They start coffin!
  • What’s a monster’s favorite bean? A human bean!
  • Where does a ghost go on vacation? Mali-boo!
  • What do you call a zombie who sleepwalks? A dead man walking!
  • Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road? He didn’t have the guts!
  • How do monsters tell their future? They read their horrorscope!
  • What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman? Frostbite!
  • Why didn’t the monster make the football team? Because he threw like a ghoul!

Witch Jokes

five witches doing witch magic

  • Why don’t witches like to ride their brooms when they’re angry? Because they don’t want to fly off the handle!
  • What do you call a witch’s garage? A broom closet!
  • Why don’t witches like to ride their brooms when they’re angry? Because they don’t want to fly off the handle!
  • What do you call a witch’s garage? A broom closet.
  • How do witches keep their hair in place while flying? With scare spray!
  • What do you call two witches who live together? Broommates!
  • Why don’t angry witches ride their brooms? They’re afraid of flying off the handle!
  • Where does a witch do her laundry? At the wash and scare.
  • What do you call a witch who goes to the beach? A sand-witch!
  • Where do witches put their garages? Next to their broom cupboards.
  • What do you call a witch’s best friend? Her ghoul-friend.
  • How can you tell when witches are getting old? Their broomsticks start to sag!
  • What do you call a witch who lives at the beach? A sand-witch!
  • Where does a witch get her hair done? At the salon and black magic.
  • Why don’t witches wear underwear? To grip the broom better!

Monster Jokes

  • Why did Frankenstein’s monster go to therapy? Because he had monster issues!
  • What is Frankenstein’s favorite dance? The monster mash—it’s a graveyard smash!
  • What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman? Frostbite!
  • Why are ghosts bad liars? Because you can see right through them!
  • Why can’t the mummy ever relax? Because he’s too wound up!
  • Why are monsters’ parties so fun? Because there’s always a mash to dance to!
  • How do monsters tell their future? They read their horrorscope!
  • What do you call a zombie who sleepwalks? A dead man walking!
  • What do you get when you cross a vampire and a teacher? Lots of blood tests!
  • What do sea monsters eat? Fish and ships!
  • What do you call a vampire who makes pancakes? Count Spatula.
  • Where do baby ghosts go during the day? Dayscare centers!
  • What do you call a haunted chicken? A poultry-geist!
  • What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite!
  • Why can’t the bicycle stand up by itself? Because it’s two-tired!
  • Why did Dracula become a vegetarian? He couldn’t find a stake to his taste!

And speaking of tastes, let’s not forget those pizza jokes for kids—a universal favorite. Here’s one to add to your slice of humor: What type of pizza do vampires prefer?

The one with extra scream cheese!

Pumpkin Jokes

five witches doing witch magic

  • Why don’t pumpkins trust secrets? Because they always get spilled at the patch!
  • What do you get when you drop a pumpkin? Squash.
  • Why do jack-o’-lanterns have such big smiles on Halloween? Because they can’t help but gourd over the fun!
  • What do you get when you drop a pumpkin? Squash.
  • What do you call a pumpkin who tells good stories? Jack O’Lantern!
  • How did the pumpkin get across the road? It used a pumpkin crossing!
  • What do you call a fat pumpkin? A plumpkin!
  • What do you call a pumpkin who always tells the truth? Honest Gourd!
  • What do you call a pumpkin that bounces? A pouncin’ pumpkin!
  • Why shouldn’t you tell a pumpkin a secret? Because it will squash it!
  • What do you call a pumpkin with a six pack? Abs-squash!
  • How do pumpkins get around on Halloween night? By pumpkin carriage!
  • What does a pumpkin call his sweetheart? My gourd-eous girl!
  • What type of pumpkin has no eyes? A blind pumpkin!
  • Why couldn’t the pumpkin have babies? Because he had pumpkin fertility issues!

Ghost Jokes

  • Why did the ghost go into the bar? For the Boos!
  • What kind of mistakes do ghosts make? Boo-boos!
  • How do spirits keep their hair in place? With scare spray!
  • Why did the ghost go into the bar? For the Boos!
  • What kind of mistakes do ghosts make? Boo-boos!
  • How do spirits keep their hair in place? With scare spray!
  • Why are ghosts bad liars? Because you can see right through them!
  • Why do ghosts love elevators? It lifts their spirits!
  • What do ghosts serve for dessert? I Scream!
  • Where do baby ghosts go during the day? Dayscare centers!
  • What do you call a ghost who gets too close to a campfire? Toast!
  • Why do ghosts have see-through feet? So they can float through floors!
  • What do you call a ghost in the winter? A mound of snow with no body to be seen!

Remember, not all Halloween humor has to be frightful. Sometimes, a good giggle is just what the witch doctor ordered. And while we’re on the topic of laughter, let’s not forget those bear jokes for kids that are always a hit:

  • Why did the ghost go into the bar? For the Boos!
  • What do you call a cleaning ghost? A mop-specter!
  • How do ghosts like their eggs? Terror-fried!

Zombie Jokes

  • Why don’t zombies eat popcorn with their fingers? Because they prefer to eat the fingers separately!
  • What’s a zombie’s favorite bean? A human bean.
  • Why did the zombie go to school? To improve his dead-ucation!
  • What do you call a cleaning skeleton? The grim sweeper.
  • Why don’t zombies eat popcorn with their fingers? Because they prefer to eat the fingers separately!
  • What’s a zombie’s favorite bean? A human bean.
  • Why did the zombie go to school? To improve his dead-ucation!
  • What do you call a cleaning skeleton? The grim sweeper.
  • Why can’t a zombie’s nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot!
  • Where do zombies like to swim? The Dead Sea!
  • What do you call a zombie comedian? The death of the party!
  • How do zombies propose? With a tomb-stone ring!
  • What’s a zombie’s favorite dessert? Brain food!
  • What does a zombie vegetarian eat? “GRRRAAAIIINNNNS!”
  • Why did the zombie cross the road? To get to the body shop!

Bug Jokes

  • Why did the spider go to the computer? To check his web site!
  • What do spiders eat in Paris? French flies!
  • Why did the spider go to the computer? To check his web site!
  • What do spiders eat in Paris? French flies!
  • Why can’t a bicycle stand up by itself? Because it’s two-tired!
  • What do you call a sleeping bull? A bull-dozer!
  • What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind? A maybe!
  • What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
  • Why did the cookie visit the hospital? Because he felt crummy!
  • What stays in the corner and travels around the world? A stamp!
  • Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert? Because she was stuffed!
  • What did one wall say to the other wall? I’ll meet you at the corner!
  • What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t work? A stick!

Remember, not all jokes have to be spooky to be enjoyed during Halloween. If your little ones love these, they might also get a kick out of some monkey jokes for kids—because who doesn’t love a good giggle about our primate pals?

  • Why don’t insects like to talk about Halloween? They find it bugging.
  • What game do ants play with elephants? Squash.

Bat Jokes

While we’re on the topic of creatures that love the cold, let’s not forget about snowman jokes for kids—a surefire way to break the ice at any Halloween gathering.

  • What do you call a bat with a law degree? An attorney at screech!
  • How do bats freshen their breath? With mints-stakes!
  • Why don’t bats live alone? They prefer to hang out with their ghoul-friends!
  • Why don’t bats use maps? Because they always hang by their own echolocation!
  • What game do bats love to play at night? Hide and screech!
  • What do you call a bat with a law degree? An attorney at screech!
  • How do bats freshen their breath? With mints-stakes!
  • Why don’t bats live alone? They prefer to hang out with their ghoul-friends!
  • Why don’t bats use maps? Because they always hang by their own echolocation!
  • What game do bats love to play at night? Hide and screech!
  • What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit bat? A nectar bat!
  • Where do baby bats learn to fly? Bat ty school!
  • How do bats file their nails? They use little bat files!
  • What do you call a bat detective? Batman!
  • Why didn’t the bat want food? He just ate!

Skeleton Jokes

  • Why didn’t the skeleton go to the party? Because he had no body to dance with!
  • What do you call a skeleton who won’t work? Lazy bones!
  • How do skeletons call their friends? On the tele-bone!
  • Why didn’t the skeleton go to the party? He had no body to dance with!
  • What do you call a skeleton who won’t work? Lazy bones!
  • How do skeletons call their friends? On the tele-bone!
  • Why didn’t the skeleton go to the party? Because he had no body to dance with!
  • What do you call a skeleton who won’t work? Lazy bones!
  • How do skeletons call their friends? On the tele-bone!
  • What do you call a skeleton who lies out in the sun too long? Bone dry!
  • Why are skeletons so calm? Because nothing gets under their skin!
  • Why can’t skeletons play music in church? They have no organs.
  • What type of art do skeletons like? Skull tures!
  • What did the skeleton say when his brother told a lie? You can’t fool me, I can see right through you!
  • Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road? He didn’t have the guts!

Vampire Jokes

a pumpkin with lights under a small tree branch

  • Why don’t vampires have many friends? Because they can be a pain in the neck!
  • What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit? A blood orange.
  • Why did the vampire read the newspaper? He heard it had great circulation.
  • What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit? A blood orange!
  • How does a vampire start a letter? Tomb it may concern…
  • What do vampires never order at restaurants? Stake!
  • Why doesn’t anyone tell vampire jokes? They suck.
  • Why did the vampire’s lunch give him heartburn? It was a stake sandwich!
  • How do vampires get around on Halloween night? By blood vessels.
  • How can you tell when a vampire has a cold? They start coffin.
  • What’s a vampire’s favorite sport? Casketball!
  • Why does Dracula wear a tuxedo when he goes hunting? He likes to keep his prey suit and tie.
  • Why wasn’t there any food left after the vampire convention? It was a fangtastic event!
  • Why are vampires welcome at every party? They have a killer sense of fun!
  • Why did the hipster vampire starve to death? He only drank blood from vintage humans.

Werewolf Jokes

werewolf growling

  • Why did the werewolf comedian fail at stand-up? Because every time he got a laugh, he turned into a howl of a good time!
  • What do you call a werewolf with a sense of humor? An alpha giggle!
  • Why did the werewolf comedian fail at stand-up? Because every time he got a laugh, he turned into a howl of a good time!
  • What do you call a werewolf with a sense of humor? An alpha giggle!
  • What do you call a werewolf who chases cars? ALycan-thropic!
  • Why do werewolves hate going to the dentist? Because of the un-bearable tooth pain!
  • Why was the little werewolf crying? He wanted his mummy!
  • What happened when the werewolf fell into a cooking pot? He became a hot dog!
  • How do werewolves get around on Halloween night? By wolf whistles.
  • What is a werewolf’s favorite snack? Moon pies!
  • Where do werewolves buy their food? At the howl foods market!
  • How do werewolves communicate? Using howl phones!
  • Why can’t you tell a joke to a werewolf? Because they take everything literally!
  • What do you call a werewolf who meditates? Aware wolf!
  • How does a werewolf trap his prey? With a bear trap!

Phantom Jokes

  • Why did the ghost go into the bar? For the boos!
  • What do you call a cleaning ghost? A mop-poltergeist!
  • How do ghosts like their eggs? Terror-fried!
  • Why did the ghost go into the bar? For the boos!
  • What do you call a ghost with a broken leg? A hoblin goblin.
  • How do ghosts like their eggs? Terror-fried!
  • What do you call a tall ghost? A high spirit!
  • Why don’t ghosts make good journalists? Because they always kill the dead line!
  • What’s a ghost’s favorite dessert? I scream!
  • Why do ghosts love elevators? It lifts their spirits!
  • What do you call a ghost chicken? A poultry-geist!
  • Why are ghosts bad at lying? Because you can see right through them!
  • Where do baby ghosts go during the day? Dayscare centers!
  • What do you call a ghost in the wintertime? A melt-ing apparition!
  • What do ghosts serve for dessert? I Scream!

Wrapping Up

In this article, we provided 180 funny and kid-friendly Halloween jokes perfect for getting your little ones in the spooky spirit.

We included lighthearted Halloween puns, one-liners, and knock knock jokes sorted into categories like pumpkin, monster, witch, ghost, and warewolf jokes.

No matter their age or sense of humor, kids will find hilarious jokes to tell their friends and family all Halloween season.

If you want to treat the kids in your life to wholesome Halloween humor, be sure to share this collection of 180 children’s Halloween jokes for a spooky-silly good time.

Happy haunting!

William Brown

William Brown is a graduate of the University of Michigan with a degree in Creative Writing. His journey began as a content creator for children's websites and apps, where he honed his skills in engaging a younger audience. He is passionate about animal welfare and volunteers at local shelters, often drawing inspiration for his whimsical stories from her furry friends. Outside of writing, William is an avid hiker and a hobbyist magician, often incorporating elements of his outdoor adventures and magic tricks into his stories to enchant young readers.

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