Monday, 10 August 2015

LIFESTYLE: Re-finding my inner happiness

Re-finding my inner happiness
I have a somewhat fiery temperament generally. I've always had a flair for the dramatic, even from a young age, and for many years as a teenagers would go from one extreme to the other in personality. I haven't had the easiest, or the toughest of lives. I was always an intensely private person. Some things have been awful and some things have been great.

However, recently I've found that I really didn't like a certain side of myself, and that I wanted to be a better person, both for other people and for myself.

I'm happy to say I'm a much happier person right now. I feel more mellow and easy going. I feel more relaxed and at peace with the person I've become.
A lot of this I realised after seeing family that I haven't seen for a while, who remarked that I had changed in recent months, and seemed more open and happier in general.
And that was both slightly hard to hear, but also good to hear. I'm taking it as a positive however. I've worked hard to learn about myself and to develop myself. And it's a continual journey, but right now I'm happier.

I thought I'd share some personally things - reasons why I think I'm happier now than I've ever really been.

Stopped comparing
A huge one. And a difficult one to stop. Comparing what you have, what you've achieved and what you want against everyone else, will never, absolutely ever, make you happy. It's a big reason why I have cut my usage of Facebook. It promotes far too much negativity. You don't have to look far on the internet to find a new study about the negative affects of Facebook. Comparison isn't going to make you feel better, and is a pointless exercise. Everyone is fighting their own demons, which they may or may not want to show to the world. So on the outside it may appear perfect, but there could be a lot going on behind the scenes. Also, everyone has didn't goals, different journeys and different ways of coping. So stop comparing! Be happy with what you have achieved, and work towards your dreams.

Cut negativity
Another hard one, though seemingly obvious. However it isn't always easy to work out where the negativity is coming from. It will be difficult I'm not going to lie, whether it's your outlook on things, a person, a job or whatever. But perhaps it will a good thing.

Share more
A tough one for a private person. I just don't really like sharing normally. I keep it to myself and deal with it. Opening up to new friends, and reaching out to people has made me feel happier. Maybe it's because I'm putting myself out there, I'm not sure. Turning this blog into a lifestyle blog and sharing my life and achievements to relative strangers, and twitter friends has made me feel better. The amazing feedback has honestly made me beyond happy, motivated and free.

Focused on the positives
Look at the amazing things you've done. And I'm sure you'll be surprised at how much you've done when you really think about it. Then think of the positive things you want to do.
For me, I've married my best friend and have a loving and caring family. I bought a house. I've travelled to some amazing places. I have some amazing and supportive friends,  I have a job I love and am good at.
Next for me is to start a family with Dann - my biggest dream come true, travel a little more, and to connect more with my family. I have married into a great family that has a lot of love and kindness to share, and I have them to thank for so much. And I think they are part of who I have become now - because they care no matter what and made me feel a part of their family. My family is also a huge thing for me especially as it is quite small, so I will be making more effort to see and make memories with them.

Re-finding my inner happiness

Some things happen for now reason - acceptance
Unfortunately, some things just happen. There is no rhyme or reason. But they may just take you to a different journey that you were always meant to take. They can make you stronger, more patient, more kind, more understanding. My miscarriage was a huge trigger and journey changer. It was heartbreaking, but we got back up and we moved on. And we have achieved things I never would have dreamed of before. We got a second cat whom we love dearly. We bought a house (I know I go on, but I'm so proud we did it). We got jobs we love. We travelled, and I travelled a bit more. I started this blog, and I've poured my heart and soul into it, and it still brings me so much joy.
It's important to keep learning in life, and acceptance is a part of that I think.

Be silly
Happiness in yourself comes from doing happy things. A smile can be contagious. And that is so important. Smile everyday. Laugh everyday. Be silly everyday. Don't be too serious!

Re-finding my inner happiness

^^mucking about at the last family wedding with my sister in law^^

So that's me. A really personal post, which I hope helps others. I want to be able to help everyone, but I think everyone needs to help themselves, and love themselves.
Love who you are. Work on yourself everyday. Promote happiness and love, and it will find you too!


  1. Lovely post! I'm trying to do the same at the moment and stop to enjoy the small things so I loved reading this


    1. Thank you! I'm glad I could play a small role in this for you!


  2. Loved this post - it made me feel so much better about myself! Going to actively try to do all these things so I can re-find my happiness too :)
    Rebecca | The Two Twenty Somethings

    1. It's an everyday thing. Something that I think we all need to work on each day. But every little step counts right!


  3. This was really interesting to read because I feel as if I'm going through something similar at the moment. Those are some great tips, which I'll definitely be taking into account!

    Opening up is a really hard one, I struggle with that too. I suppose it's all about one day at a time.

    Sarah /

    1. Thank you.
      Yes I agree, opening up is really hard, but sharing just little bits every so often does help. I found taking this blog to lifestyle and just sharing my everyday life really helped with sharing more private things with loved ones.

      Take each day as it comes!
      Hoping for much happiness for you xx

  4. This is another beautifully written and heart warming post Rach.

    Couldn't agree more with the comparison side of life and appreciating what you have:)

    I forever used to beat myself up about not having a best friend and losing a circle of girl friends but realised in time that 'you can't make everyone happy- you're not pizza!'

    I recently bumped into a few old faces with optimism of a simple hello or smile but it wasn't to be and the cold shoulder was all I received. It made me realise that some things really just aren't worth your love, tears or fret and I'd rather clear steer of the drama.

    You are a lovely, talented and focused young lady, love your approach to life X

    1. Thanks Tash!
      I was so the same. I was so sad about losing friends, and I'm still sad, but I do really truly believe something's just happen. No rhyme or reason necessarily, it just wasn't meant to be, but that doesn't have to make it a bad thing, and you never know what a loss can create in its space.
      I know I have some amazing and lovely friends - yourself included in that - that I can rely on and talk to.

      I'm trying my best to create a happy life as that's what I want for my family!

      And thank you - you are a wonderful, caring and lovely person yourself, and so creative and smart. You don't give yourself enough credit!


  5. This is a great post! I love the new positive attitude. It can be hard but really does feel so much better and makes life so much easier. The greatest bit of advice I was ever given is "everything is temporary". Once you realise that how you feel now isn't how you feel in days/weeks/moths, it makes it easier to be positive. Good luck for the future! Lisa xx
    ( ~ @cthulhuwakes)

    1. That is such great advice, thank you for sharing. It's so true, and I will be remembering that for the future.