How motherhood has changed me, for better and for worse

I think we all change so much over our life times. In fact it's kind of inevitable.
You can't remain the same person from your teens, to your twenties, thirties and beyond.
We become more educated, enlightened and in some places more sceptical and rational.

Our life choices and changes impact how we view the world, how we interact with it, and how we move through it.

Understandably, big life changes are going to have bigger impacts.
And one of the biggest changes for any person is becoming a parent.

Of course, there's the whole adjusting to having a small human-being be totally reliant on you for everything which is overwhelming as it is.

But once you've gotten used to actually being a parent (which I'm still not 100% certain I'm there yet!) you realise that your child/kids change you as a person too.

I'm not necessarily saying that they'll change you over night, and you'll go from a party and cocktail lover, to a slipper and nights in on the sofa knitting fanatic (but if that is the case then get those woollens out and enjoy) but they do have an impact. Or at least it has for me.

Admittedly I've never been a huge party girl, mostly because I hate drinking my money away, and alcohol is just so pricey and partly because I've lived the side behind the bar and I just dislike drunk people for the most part, including drunk me. But nowadays, I'd much rather spend an evening with my duvet, a bunch of snacks, a large cup of tea and a book, than even consider leaving the house. This probably makes me quite unpopular when it comes to socialising as I realise many people probably don't want to hang out in my room with a book.

In fact in general I'm much less sociable. Which is kind of ironic as I quite like getting out and about with Henry. But coffee dates aren't the easiest with a toddler, and there are only so many dinosaurs I can fit in my bag before my back gives way under the weight. Although I don't get out with friends as much as I used to, I do treasure the ones I do go out to, so there is that.

I also think I care a bit less. I care less about what people think of me. I care less about my social media. I care less about my appearance. I want to channel my caring into important and worthwhile things, like my family and close friends. I care about spending quality time with the people I love. I care about making a cosy and safe home. I think, and hope, this makes me a better person. But I don't really care if it doesn't either.

I'm more tired.
I definitely stress more.
I'm more anxious.
I'm more overworked and overwhelmed.

I'm happier.
In fact I'm the happiest I've ever been.
But it's not always an easy happy. It's not care-free, and some days are happier than others.
But I am happy in so many ways, and that's thanks to motherhood.